World Suicide Prevention Day - What to do if someone tells you they suffer from depression

Well, well, well.

I've been waiting for ages to write this post.

Because, for those of you who may not know it, today 10th of September is WSPD or World Suicide Prevention Day.

Not long ago, the death of Robin Williams raised the issue of suicide, as it happens every once in a while. But it seems like the subject keeps getting forgotten a while after a celebrity has died. However, the statistics are horrifying. Every 40 seconds, a person dies of suicide.

As a sufferer of depression myself, suicide is a subject that matters deeply to me, as I know just how dark someone's thoughts can get. It can be hard for some people to understand what would lead others to even consider suicide as an option. Many times the stigma that exists around mental health stops people from speaking out and seeking the help they need, therefore leaving them hopeless and feeling like that might be the only way out, when really it is not.

If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation, then click here to get to the page of Need urgent help to seek immediate help.

One way in which you can help to make the suicide rate lower is by making those around you feel safe, by being open and understanding if someone shares with you that they are struggling with a mental health issue.

What can you do if someone tells you they are struggling with depression?

· Be understanding 

I know, I know, it sounds obvious. But it was necessary to say it. The person may tell you it's depression, or they may say some other mental health issue, maybe even one you have never heard about. Don't tell them they are making it up. Just because a mental illness can't be seen, it's not less real than any other illness.

· Don't say things such as "You're just too sensitive", "This is just a phase", "Everyone goes through this" or "Cheer up!"

While you're probably just trying to help out and show empathy, the person can feel like your "minimizing" their problems. Those struggling with depression are going through hell in their minds, they don't want anyone to tell them that it is not such a big deal, because they will just feel like they are not being understood and like you are trying to make their problems less important (and they may not want to talk about it to you anymore, which is not what we want here!). And "cheer up", ugh, just don't. Please, don't. Someone dealing with depression didn't choose to be depressed and would do anything to be happy again. So telling a depressed person to cheer up almost sounds like accusing them of having chosen to live life that way as if they could just cheer up whenever they wanted to, because then they wouldn't just have done it before you told them, that idea just never came to their minds!

· Listen!

Listen, listen, listen. Encourage them to talk. And listen. I can't say this enough times. But the person may need someone to talk to and being there for them is always of great help.

· Don't push them to talk too much

Oops, did I say listen too many times? (Probably not). BUT If they have told you something but they don't want to share any more details, don't push them too much as they may feel like they don't want to talk anymore.

· Offer your help

Honestly, if they are struggling with depression there is not much you can do for them besides being there and being ready to talk and listen whenever they need to. But if you offer your help and let them know that you are ready to listen to more whenever they feel ready to tell you, they will probably be extremely thankful.

· Keep in touch

Even if they are not contacting you after that, send them messages or call them after that to check on them and ask them to meet. People dealing with depression are more withdrawn and have more trouble in doing everyday things such as replying to messages, or might be scared of how you reacted. So calling them and asking them to meet up might be a great way to make them feel better and also to check up on them.

· Be patient

· Be there

You don't need to physically be there all the time, just show them that you are available to talk, etc.

· Don't judge them

Someone struggling with depression may have developed some unhealthy habits to cope with their emotions such as alcohol or substance abuse or self harm. You can express your concern about this kind of behavior, but it is something that they probably feel like it escapes their control. It can be hard to understand it (issues as self harm) from the outside, but even if you can't understand it you have to try and not be judgmental. This doesn't mean go on and encourage them to pursue this behavior since it is detrimental for their health, only makes depression worse and can create separate separate problems of their own but don't judge them for having done it.

· Encourage them to go to therapy if they don't yet

This is a very important point. If they have told you they suffer from depression but are not going to therapy it might be because they are scared of being judged etc. Or they may just need more encouragement. You can offer them to go with them to the therapist and wait for them outside.

· Do some research

If you don't know much about mental health, research a bit to know more about the symptoms of depression etc to be able to understand better the behavior of the person.

· If you have noticed changes that alarm you, contact someone

You may have noticed recent changes on the person that have alarmed you, like seeing them more withdrawn or a lot more tired, or their conversation revolving around death.

You can read other alarming symptoms at the Samaritans page, clicking here.

If you are a friend and know the parents, you could tell the parents if you know that they are open about mental health. Other useful contacts are:

The Samaritans if you are int the UK: 08457909090

Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you are in the USA: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

You can call them and tell them that you are worried about someone else and they will provide useful information.

· Look out for yourself

If you have a relationship with a person struggling with depression, whether it is family, friendship or the love kind, at some point it can become exhausting for you too. You need to make sure that you don't get dragged into the depression cycle and that you look out for yourself and your health. This will help you stay healthy and keep helping the person and also assure them that you're not going to leave them because you are tired of the situation. So make sure you have the space you need and some time for yourself.