Tumblr

Well,  hello.

Even though it may seem like I have been completely absent for a while, I haven't. I have done some small re-arranging in the blog and in the old posts and here and there. I was trying to finish the 30 day depression challenge that I started but never finished (very much like me...) but turns out that Intuitive Dreamer's blog is unavailable and I never thought of copying all the questions. So oops. It's not my fault entirely now that I haven't finished it!

So I come with good news. I have joined yet another social network. I used to have a tumblr account but never really managed to figure out how it worked. But here I am, ready to give it another try for the sake of the blog. Anything for this blog. 

There is one thing that I must say though. Even though in this blog and in Pinterest there are exclusively positive thoughts, tumblr may include some not-so-positive images or quotes that I feel identified with. I will try my best to ensure that there's absolutely no triggering stuff in there either, and nothing too dark either. Just maybe don't expect all positive songs over there, I may add some Bring me the Horizon songs, or You me at six, or Papa Roach, Three Days Grace or any other bands that I like and maybe it's not a 'Fight song'. But remember, nothing triggering. So it might be good as well, with the tumblr I'm trying to reflect how someone with BPD and depression feels like but also a lot of stuff related to hope and recovery.

So yeah, add me!!!

Depression challenge | Days 8 to 13

So apparently I'm not great at this 'blogging every day' deal. But in my defense I will say I found Day 8 really hard to answer. Also, it has been a bit of a hard time because I have had many ups and downs (especially downs) since the last time I posted. So I hope you can forgive me.

Also, follow me on twitter if you don't yet! I want to start conversations, talk mental health, recommend pages and some helpful tools against depression, tweet quotes I like, and even more personal tweets. I do tweet every day!

http://twitter.com/newwingstofly

Day 8

A thing I wish people understood about me...

I have phases when I feel like I need to please everyone (or some people specifically). Some of you may not see this as a bad thing, but it is for me. I put myself last, stop considering my own needs.

Then I usually realize that I am doing this and manage to put my own needs first. It takes time and loads of effort to do this, but I usually manage to do it. However, when you have spent quite a long time putting everyone else's needs before yours, it is as if they took that for granted. They expect that kind of behavior. And then when I act putting myself first, they think I am selfish. Thankfully in the last couple of years I have had less episodes where I tried to please people.

But what I wish they understood is that I don't live to please anyone else. That I, like everyone else, have my own needs and wants. Although, if they don't understand, I don't even care that much anymore. Not to sound bitchy or anything, it's just the truth.

Day 9

There are soooo many causes I support and that would like to name here. But since this is a blog about mental health, I will talk about something that I think most of you will be interested in.

As a person who suffers from mental health problems but, more generally, as a person who has seen the effects of discrimination against mental health, I encourage you to make a pledge and start a conversation about mental health to help fight the stigma and put an end to it (click on the image). Make a pledge on the webpage, or start a conversation on twitter with the hashtag #TimetoTalk .

Time to change is an English organization set to fight mental health stigma, but people from all over the world can participate.

Day 10

I'm not going to answer Day 10's question which is: Say something a bully said to you that really hurt your feelings.

I think it could be triggering both for myself and for other people to write and read the mean comments that someone said to me.

We don't have to focus on what bullies said to us to hurt our feelings. We need to ignore the people who try to hurt us.

Day 11

A book that makes me feel encouraged is The secret life of bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

And a poem that has always made me feel encouraged is Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I think whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

Day 12

Oh dear... Who made this challenge? Yes, Intuitive Dreamer did, she didn't know me.

You give me a camera and I like being silly. As in full-on-silly. (Little shameful secret I'll share with you: I love duck face selfies. There, I said it.) So for future reference, don't ask for pictures of me unless this is what you're expecting or else specify a bit more....)

Day 13

Last but not least today...

I feel like Demi Lovato is a great inspiration for young people battling with mental health issues.

P.S.: I'm ill so I'm spending all day at home, so this is probably not the last you'll hear from me today.

New stuff and depression challenge update

Soooooo......

YES! There is a new design. I have been wanting a new design for quite a long time. I am not the best at photoshop, so yesterday I finally decided to get a pro template. And ta-da! This is it. I hope you like it. My favorite color is blue, so maybe that had something to do with the choice. I also wanted it to be gender-neutral (even though some associate blue with boys - nonononononono).

You may (or may not) have noticed, that at the top right corner of the page there are some pretty social media icons, each will lead you to our different social media pages.

So, yes! There is a new twitter account!

So please follow the page on twitter since there will be news of new updates but also more personal posts, and retweets, and just anything related to mental health that I find interesting (and that I find). Please feel send us tweets :)

https://twitter.com/newwingstofly

I forgot to post my challenge post yesterday so I will post both of them here.

Day 6

A person who cheers me up or tries to.

I feel very lucky about the fact that I don't feel like I can choose a single person for this. There are a few people, for different situations and contexts I would say them.

Hya, who you may know for writing a post in this blog, always cheers me up. I always laugh with her. We can be crazy together.

Laura is like my soul sister. We've been apart this year but that doesn't stop us from keep planning to build a boat and become pirates together. We always buy chocolate for each other when we are PMSing (YES I said PMS, because that happens to be a thing!), or when we are in a low mood.

And my boyfriend is always there as well. He's always understanding, and caring. He always calms me down when I am having a breakdown.

Day 7

I wish that people knew that depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses are just as real as any other illness. That just because they are happening on someone's head doesn't make them less real, that the fact that they can't see it doesn't mean someone is making it up. 

I wish people understood that those with mental health illnesses are not attention seekers, but just misunderstood people who are suffering, and that it is really hard to find the right care, especially in a stigmatized society. 

I wish the word 'crazy' lost its bad connotations and wasn't applied to mentally ill people.

Depression challenge | Day 5 - Let it go

Day 5

A song that makes me happy when I'm sad...

Risking to sound cliché... I love this song and I love Demi. And I think this song is very appropriate for people struggling with mental health issues.

Depression Challenge | Day 4 - Inspirational quotes

(Yes, I'm conscious that I skipped day 3, I might leave it for later on).

I've been wanting to do a post like this one for quite a long time, so I'll just take the chance.

Day 4

Quotes that inspire me:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Be kind.

Always.

If you can dream it, you can do it.

  - Walt Disney

Repeat after me:

I am free.

I refuse to sink         

Don't dream your life,

Live your dreams.

(Personal reminder)

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

There are people who can survive hell.

You are one of them.

I'm not telling you it's going to be easy,

I'm telling you it's going to be worth it.

Depression Challenge | Day 2 - Things do get better

(oops I skipped a day... sorry)

Day 2

Today I will tell myself that things do get better.

I guess it's not the best time (or maybe actually this is the best time), since I have been kind of

relapsing these last few weeks... But if someone had told me in late January 2014 that things were going to get better I would have never believed them.

However, I have had other depressive episodes before, this is not the first time that this happens, even though it is the toughest one. And it has always got better. So that is proof that this time it will get better too.

The way I was feeling a month ago: seeing friends, writing, reading loads, having good moments... If someone had told me I was going to feel like that in late January I wouldn't have believed them, and yet I was. I was feeling so much better that I thought was even possible some months back. 

When we are deep down in the hole, it is hard to see the light. But it is there. It is always there waiting for us. Things do get better. We just need time, help and treatment.

It gets better. So just hold on. 

And think that if months ago we couldn't even imagine how well we were a few weeks back, right now we can't even imagine how much better it can get. And somehow that amazes me.

30 days depression challenge | Day 1

If you haven't heard about this, it is an idea that Courtney from the blog Intuitive Dreamer came up with and I thought it was really interesting.
This way I will force myself to post every day. I will still post about other stuff during this mont, not just the challenge. But I think it is a really good idea and I wanted to join in!

Day 1: 

Today I will smile because of my lovely beautiful dog Ramona

I got her from a shelter barely a month ago and that picture is from after her first bath. She was a bit ill, so skinny and the vet said he thought she was probably 5 years old. We managed to get her well, eating properly, and after she gained weight, we got the parasites out of her and she was clean and healthy and less skinny the vet said he had probably been wrong at first, and that she was probably just 2 years old.

She's so obedient, loves to play and to spend time seating on my lap. I think having a pet is great for someone struggling with a mental health problem (as long as your therapist agrees) and as long as it's not an impulse and it's something premeditated.

No one believed in her, she was abandoned, she wasn't loved. But with love, strength and effort on all parts she is now a lot stronger and healthier and happier. I wonder why I love that story... and why it makes me smile.