Avoiding fights during Christmas - Surviving the holidays

Maybe you don't get along with someone who is going to the Christmas party (or any other party during these holidays). Or maybe people ask inappropriate questions. Or who knows, at family gatherings, someone can say something that makes you angry. So let's talk about how to handle anger and avoiding fights during these holidays.

You don't want fights during the holidays, because that would sort of ruin them. But all that time with all those family members you don't normally see could be the spark to a big fight. I guess people who struggle with anger issues (or BPD) can especially relate to this, but I think anyone can, really. So it's good to talk about ways to distance yourself from the situation so that you don't explode (or implode, either!).

image from Weheartit

If there is someone you dislike/can't stand or simply someone who says something inappropriate after one too many glasses of wine and makes you feel uncomfortable, feel free to leave the room. 

You don't need to get along with the person, you just need to tolerate their presence at the same party. But if you leave, anyone can think you're going to the restroom, or just want to do check something... you don't need to explain. Leave the room and if you feel a strong emotion (anger, frustration), sit down somewhere else and breathe calmly, counting to 10 breaths. 

If you still feel highly emotional after this, when you come back just go and sit somewhere else, talk to someone else. There are probably other people you do want to see, so stay focused on them.

If you think there's a risk of dysfunctional behavior if you leave by yourself, then ask someone you trust to go with you to another room and then do the breathing. You can explain this simply by saying you were told something you didn't like and just want to calm down. You really don't need to say anything else unless you want to!

I had a situation like this last night and I thought it was going to be problematic but it ended up being just fine! So if I could do it, you can do it too!

Also, Merry Christmas to everyone!